Suzyblog: Suzanne Jackson's blog

Wonder Woman

A Superhero's blog

Converting Republicans One at a Time

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The other evening, I was volunteering as an usher for a local theatre group. I ran into one of my former professors at the musical. In class, she was one of those right-wing overly-religious people. To say the least, we had very many heated debates in the class. My point of view, and the way I have always thought, was that we can't say we are religious and then support governments who do not help society's disadvantaged. Even Jesus once said something like "how you treat the least of me, that's how you are treating me." This theory can apply across just about any issue.
For example, on abortion. Does it ever cross the mind of your typical conservative that if conditions were different there would be fewer abortions? Conditions such as jobs with living wages that provided insurance were plentiful? Public education was improved (both at high school and post-secondary levels) so that mothers could have the education to be qualified for these jobs and support their children? What in the conservative movement is improving life so that these women want to bring children into this world?

I digress...
This former professor goes on to tell me that she took my points and my papers to heart. That she is no longer a Republican and has a new world outlook.

Just have to win them over one at a time.

posted by suzyjax on 8/27/2006 10:34:00 AM > 0 comments

Crushed

I woke up shortly after midnight Friday night and the house was hot and completely dark. It took me a few minutes to realize that the electricity was out. I slipped out of bed and stumbled to the living room, put on a denim skirt with my night shirt and grabbed the cellphone. Once on the front porch I sat down and dialed AmerenUE. I am firm believer that it is better that 100 people call than for all 100 to assume that someone else has called about a neighborhood power outage. From my porch, I could tell that they had electricity on the block to the east but no power for a block or two to the west.

AmerenUE confirmed that they were aware of the power outage that affected 8000 customers (wow!) and that the power would be on by 3 AM. Well, such a short outage would mean that I wouldn't have to worry about throwing away the few contents in the fridge. I noticed that all of the traffic on the street was making a u-turn or turning down one of the side streets. I immediately worried about a car accident or fire that may be further down the street, which just so happens to be where the guy I am crushing on lives. I walked to the middle of the street (oh so smart, but I was half awake) and noticed that the police had put up flares to prevent folks from proceeding past the light at the end of the street. Well, no house was on fire at least. I went back to my post on the front porch, enjoying the cooler outside air than the still air of the house without working ceiling fans.

I was thirsty, but wondered if it was a good idea for my klutzy-self to wander through the dark house to the kitchen to get a drink. I might fall and break my leg. I might drop the glass I am groping in the dark to find then cut myself on the shards of glass. I needed gas, too. So, what better than a trip to the QT to get a soda and fill up with gas without the crowds? I jump in the truck and am on my way. I get to the QT and realize my purse is in the house. Why? Why?! I usually always keep my purse in the car. Arrgh. I drive back home and go via a route that will take me close to the major car accident that has taken out the utility pole causing the neighborhood blackout. While turning the corner onto my street, I notice my crush is standing in his driveway. Now, here is a guy who has his finger on the pulse of this block. He will always come out to help a car accident, flat tire, or whatever even if his only help is calling the correct police department on behalf of the folks in the car accident. I thought he would know what happened.

Against what should be better judgment, I pulled into the driveway. He gives me a half-wave and I notice he is on the phone. My windows were already down so as he puts down the phone a bit I ask if he knows what happened. He sarcastically replies "A car accident."

"Really," I replied dryly. "Thanks for the clarification." I put the truck and reverse and pulled away.

WTF?!

What a fucking jackass! I'm already not happy with myself over forgetting my purse and then this. I was crushed by my crush like some bug! I never expected such a flippant remark. I thought maybe he was mad because my headlights were in his face, but he could have moved up to the car door. I thought maybe it was because he was on the phone at the time, but he seemed to move the phone down.

Once back at the QT and having pumped my gas, I went inside the restrooms to splash water on my face. I looked in the mirror and thought "God you look like hell!" and remembered I did just stumble out of bed. I bought my soda and headed back home. I stayed in the truck listening to the radio, assuming it was much cooler outside. I checked my cellphone and noticed the missed call message. My crush had called. I listened to his voicemail. He stated he didn't realize it was me until I pulled off and that I was the 20th person to stop and ask the same question. He apologized if he had offended me.

I turned off the talk radio and thought about it for a moment. On one hand, there were the things I mentioned above about being on the phone and headlights in his eyes. I did look like complete hell and had on my glasses--so maybe it was good he didn't recognize me. And, I was driving the truck my father and I share, so he wouldn't have recognized that. So, I can fully believe that he didn't know this was me.

On the other hand, it was quite a blow. It took a lot of nerve for me to pull into his driveway in the first place. To be treated like such crap sent me reeling. If there is anything that I expect from men--whether friend, coworker or lover--it is respect. However, I was not about to judge the apology as insincere.

I called him back and got his voicemail. Does this guy ever answer his phone? I don't think I have ever gotten straight through to him. This isn't necessarily a complaint. He has a very sexy voice, so listening to his voicemail message is a pleasure! I digress. I left a message accepting his apology and making some joke about "random acts of rudeness."

Even though there was an apology, and it was accepted, it helped put a frame around the whole thing. I am not mad and only just a tad bit sad. My ego is more hurt than any feelings. The whole thing was more of an epiphany. The realization that I am nothing to this man; not even a blip on his radar screen. It was truly just a nice thought in my mind, but nothing that would ever come to fruition. It was a pleasant daydream and I was never under the hallucination that it could be more. I'm not completely clueless and haven't been from the get-go, but the fantasy nicely occupied the drive home, the wait in the grocery line, or my thoughts just before drifting off to sleep. Now that I no longer have this infatuation, I guess I'll revert back to thoughts of "to do lists", homework and solutions to the world's problems. And when it comes down to it, I am really too old for this kind of silliness anyway.

Uh oh, I can feel my cynical side coming out.

posted by suzyjax on 8/27/2006 10:30:00 AM > 0 comments

My Onion Horoscope

Well, this one got the two-job Virgo right:

Issue 42•26
Virgo Although you know it's only a matter of setting boundaries and better managing your time, you will nonetheless continue to struggle to separate your work life from your second work life.

posted by suzyjax on 8/27/2006 09:29:00 AM > 0 comments

But When is Magenta Season?

On the Missouri government homepage, there are always rolling headlines from the previous 5 press releases. The latest, below, struck me as funny.

Teal hunting prospects good (Aug 25, 2006)

posted by suzyjax on 8/27/2006 09:10:00 AM > 0 comments

The Blame Game

Zoey and I spent the day together Wednesday. We went down to the Central West End and looked around some of the shops before heading to Left Bank Books (our main reason for being in the CWE). I thought about lunch at Crown Candy Kitchen, something I am sure she would love. But, she was begging for pizza. So, I thought it best to kill two birds with one stone and go to Pizza Street by school and then drop off my birth certificate to the Human Resources department afterward.

Well, on our way down Kingshighway to I-70 they were doing road repairs. Kingshighway was closed at Natural Bridge. You would think that someone had shot her parents by Zoey's reaction. She was near tears as she asked over and over again why they would close the road. As I was explaining that the detour was no big deal, we came upon a tractor-trailer blocking Natural Bridge as they backed into a warehouse. This would usually not be a major thing, but Zoey started up again with why the mean truck driver was trying to keep her from Pizza.

After lunch and dropping of my birth certificate, I kept her from whining too much in the car by saying how we could watch her Cheetah Girls video when we got home. Of course, the fates were against me! When we arrived home, AmerenUE was working on the transformer and the power was out. Yikes! Well, thank God we had gone out to eat because there was now no way to cook. But, there was also no way to watch television and also no way to stop the drama.

Zoey just cried and wanted to know why the mean electric guy was taking away her television. Really, should a three-year-old be that addicted to television--even if it is The Cheetah Girls? I got her to play outside for a while, but that didn't last too long. I packed her up and we were off to the library. We managed to kill the rest of the afternoon there.

Still, it was just way too much drama over the smallest things. And, it made me wonder about the blame game we tend to play (and if children pick that up from us). Zoey was quick to be angry at MoDOT, AmerenUE, and the truck driver because things were not going smoothly. But, life never goes 100% smoothly. Do we quickly try to find someone to blame or to throw our anger? Would our energy be better spent either resolving the issue or learning how to deal with those things we cannot change? And if we are not doing that, are children picking up those cues?

posted by suzyjax on 8/27/2006 06:15:00 AM > 0 comments

Taking advice

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A few weeks ago, an acquaintance was questioning my madness of something very silly that I did. My justification was, admittedly, just as silly as the underlying action. However, he said something that made me change my point of view in regards to something else. He told me to quit trying to manage other people's opinion of myself, that either people are going to like me or not. In addition, he encouraged me to not be so hesitant on things and that if I want something that I should just ask.

So, I swallowed. I took a deep breath. And then contacted a man I met recently. This guy is kinda great. He is in St. Louis working on his PhD in Philosophy, which can only mean this guy knows how to think. Things have been going very smoothly in that area. It's a nice, decent relationship. We have many similar interests and he is a super smart guy.

But, the original guy who gave me the advice has also been on my mind. If I had to be with one type of person, he is that type of person. However, it is because I do think he is so perfect that I could never approach him on that level. I am not even sure I could make the move from acquaintance to friend, let alone a FWB or more-than-friends situation. In addition, he is someone who could probably hurt another's feelings easily. His words can cut like a knife. For example, I recently inquired on his opinion on something I had e-mailed to him. His pithy reply regarding limited bandwith sent me reeling. I hate, hate, hate to give anyone that kind of power over my feelings. And I was mad at myself for even being the slightest bit upset over it! And, thus, I will stick with the status quo. It's so much easier to do that, than to take that leap that you really want to take. In the meantime, it's something I think about in the wee small hours of the morning.

posted by suzyjax on 8/24/2006 06:03:00 PM > 0 comments

Fall 2006: School's In, School's In, Teacher Let the Fools In!

Whew! The first week of classes are finished. Not much exciting this semester and nothing I am just dying to sink my teeth into either.

I have two Education classes. Both had syllabi that were 20+ pages. To say the least, we spent the first week of classes going over them in their entirety.

I am also taking a Philosophy class just for S&Gs (and maybe to keep up a decent conversation with Bob). Not much there, per syllabus. Just lecture and tests. There are questions the professor is providing for the class readings that he may or may not collect for a grade. But, there are no papers or projects. There will be a lot of essay questions and short answer on the test, which is great for me. I am sure this will keep me in that 4.0 GPA.

The Philosophy teacher recently finished his PhD at SLU. I wonder if he knows Bob, who is currently in the PhD program in Philosophy at SLU? It's not like I am going to ask "Hey do you know this guy I am dating?" just in case I say something really stupid in class. I would hate for that to get back as "Your dumb gal said this...."

posted by suzyjax on 8/24/2006 03:04:00 PM > 0 comments

Rain fresh laundry

Saturday, August 19, 2006

It's a rainy Saturday here in the Lou. So, I have managed to wash every piece of laundry that I have. Usually to get that done takes a trip to the laundrymat where I can do 5 loads at one time.
It managed to occupy my day when I couldn't go to the pool. I was able to clean while I was doing all this laundry. And, best of all, I will be completely wardrobe ready for my first week of school and the new part-time job.

Speaking of school, I still need a few smaller items. Hopefully, I can pick them up tomorrow (as I am taking the day off work).

posted by suzyjax on 8/19/2006 12:14:00 PM > 0 comments

Damn, Wish I was Your Lover

Friday, August 18, 2006

Now this Sophie B Hawkins song is going to be going through my head the rest of the day:

Damn, I wish I was your lover
I'll rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm
I am everything
Tonight I'll be your mother
And I'll do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed,

Shucks, for me there is no other
You're the only shoe that fits
I can't imagine I'll grow out of it
Damn I wish I was your lover

If I was your girl believe me
I'd turn on the Rolling Stones
We could groove along and feel much better
I could do it forever and ever
Give me an hour to kiss you
Walk through heaven's door,
I'm sure We don't need no doctor to feel much better
Let me in

posted by suzyjax on 8/18/2006 12:45:00 PM > 0 comments

A good Friday

I realize that many of my posts are just my bitchin'. But, my purpose in having a blog is to vent so it really doesn't overly concern me. However, to take a break from that I will detail what a glorious day this is becoming.

In the weight loss group I met my goal. Thus got paid $114 from the cash pot. That should fill up my gas tank a time or two.

I took a long lunch to sneak in a date in the middle of the day. I got back just in time to start my geography group.

In St. Louis, two municipal politicans have been indicted. The one from Berkely was a friend of Overland's much beleaguered mayor. They both associate with the same crowd, so this is just great ammunition for inquiring into Overland's business dealings with the same vendors.

But, there is one thing that has put a smile on my face and kept it there all day. I mentioned that the man I kinda like was at the same thing as I last night. Well, he had this stubble, not-shaved-today thing going. It was SEXY. Yes, so sexy that it deserves the bold, bigger and red print. I could barely look at him because my mind would start to wander away from the topic of conversation to things like Damn, wish I was your lover.

posted by suzyjax on 8/18/2006 12:31:00 PM > 0 comments

Headache of a Day

Yesterday I woke up with a killer headache. Any other Thursday, I might be able to just stay in bed. However, I had committed to occupying Zoey for the day. Zoey is at the great, cute age where she is past the terrible twos but still such a kid. And just as sweet as can be. Almost makes you want one...almost, but not quite.

We headed off to the pool which is always fun. I thought the chlorine might make me feel better. A bit, but not entirely. Zoey is a little fish. Well, she prefers that we call her a little mermaid. Did I mention that she is jumping off the diving board. The outdoor pool requires that each kid who wants to jump off the board take a swimming test. She passed with flying colors and was off to the diving board!

Zoey on the diving board causes quite a spectacle. Everybody kind of stops what they are doing to see this little girl on the diving board. She will do jumps, flips and has attempted diving. Ritenour Swim Team be ready in 12 years!

I digress about my headache. (It's my blog and if I want to make it all about me.) By the time we got home from the YMCA, I could barely think straight. Usually a greasy burger and/or chocolate mint ice cream along with a good dose of some sort of medicine will cure the headache. Yet, on Friday we were having our final weigh-in for the 10 week weight loss group. What a dilema! Eat a cheeseburger or suffer and get paid? Well, I went for the cheeseburger and prayed it wouldn't matter the next day. I then took a nice dose of Sudafed and Excedrin.

I took a bit of a nap and woke up without the headache. However, I still felt like crap and had somewhere to go. I took the longest shower I possbily could and headed off to my thing. I think my body was trying to sweat out the toxins from my body. I wan't hot, but couldn't stop sweating. It was truly just pouring out of my face--like tears!

Well, of course, guy I am crushing on is at this little thing. I am sure I made quite an impression, if he even noticed. Maybe he thought I was having a hot flash. I'm older than him, but not that old!

posted by suzyjax on 8/18/2006 12:18:00 PM > 0 comments

Redheads Rule!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I thought I would personalize the blog a little more. I mean, if I am a redhead, Wonder Woman should be one too. I got 1/2 the pictures done tonight. Maybe the other 1/2 by the end of the week.

Okay, I know the picture on the sidebar looks as if it is the love child of Wonder Woman and Ronald McDonald. But, I can fix that! Just not gonna happen tonight.

posted by suzyjax on 8/16/2006 06:09:00 PM > 0 comments

He's just not that in to me

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I have a crush on one of my acquantiances and it's really silly. I am completely tounge-tied around him and generally a grade A geek in his presence.

I am usually a top notch flirt, but can't bring myself to really flirt with this guy. And, I would never make any type of "move" on him or initiate more than just the acquaintance thing. I think it's part fear of rejection and part the fact that I can't seem to put a good sentence together when speaking to him.

It's odd that I can't talk when around him, since I apparently don't do too bad of a job talking about him. A mutual acquaintance happened to be asking me question about him. I couldn't stop gushing about how wonderful, smart, clever, amazing, literate, liberal, witty, sharp and overall extraordinary person he was. She just looked at me and said "I've never heard you talk about a guy that way."

Maybe one of these days, I will make a move. Then again, when we have been together he isn't making any sort of "move" either. Alas, I think it can be said he's just not that in to me.

posted by suzyjax on 8/13/2006 03:54:00 PM > 0 comments

Back to "Normal"

Last week, my cousin and her family were in from Baltimore. We met up for breakfast one morning before their return flight. We did the usual catching up regarding school, work, family, and all the men I am NOT dating. When my cousin found out that this summer, I was truly only working one job and that job was part-time she almost fell out of her chair! She looked at my mother and said "Who is this person and where is Suzanne?".

It has been a joke among family and friends that I am always working. Back-in-the-day, In Living Color had a sketch about a Jamaican family where they all worked between 3 and 10 jobs. Whenever that skit would come on, my phone would ring off the hook with some friend or family member inquiring about my Jamaican heritage.

She will be happy to know that I will be starting a second job once school is back in session (actual start date August 23). I will probably still do the child/house/pet sitting as needed. But, I never counted that as a "real" job. And, the need for that will definitely fall off once folks are back in school (read: stop taking vacations).

I am excited about the new job. It is mostly computer work, so definitely right up my alley. I am also excited about bringing in that second check.

posted by suzyjax on 8/13/2006 01:32:00 PM > 0 comments

New Blog Look

One thing I have been working on this week is a new template for my blog. I tested it for sometime but am not sure I have caught everything. So, let me know by e-mail or comment if something is weird or not working properly.

I got into the groove of changing the template when I modified the template for a new blog I created. It is very simple and straightforward and can be seen here.

posted by suzyjax on 8/13/2006 12:46:00 PM > 1 comments

Busy Week

Saturday, August 12, 2006

For the being the lazy, crazy days of summer this week was fairly busy. I felt as if I was chasing my tail most of the week. Besides pesky work, there was a lot going on.

Tuesday was the election. I had to report to the election commission office at 4:45. That's 4:45 in the morning. To say the least, Monday night I went to bed as soon as I got home from work and Tuesday evening went to bed early and exhausted.

Wednesday, I participated in the Disaster Recovery Drill at Busch Stadium. That experience deserves a post of its own. And, I shall post about it later this weekend.

Thursday was the Rams first preseason game. Robyn and I went and really spent more time gossiping about people from Ritenour than watching the football game. At least our stories kept the guys in my section highly entertained.

This weekend is proving to be busy, which I guess is why I am up posting at 6:00 AM. I am off to mow my lawn and then my parents. Then off to babysit for a few hours before coming back to Beth's to house/cat sit.

posted by suzyjax on 8/12/2006 04:07:00 AM > 0 comments

Identity Theft or How I Never Went to the Univ of Iowa

School starts back in a week. I am having issues with financial aid department. And, these are issues that started 25 years ago.
When I was at Southeast, my mother called and asked me if I knew a David Blumstein. She was asking because the bank was stating that my social security number was coming up under this name. It was creating a tiny bit of havoc in getting a student loan at SEMO. Back then, it was fairly easy to straighten out and get my loan.
I might have been one of the first victims of identity theft. I hadn't much thought about it since it was so easy to straighten out. However, once David had so easily duped back in the early '80's, I guess it was easy for him later on.
Now, the financial aid department is refusing to "complete my application for aid" until I produce transcripts from the University of Iowa. It doesn't matter that I point out that I was not of age to attend college in 1982. I even ask if I should provide David's transcripts instead of mine, since his actually exist and mine do not. I even offer to provide my Ritenour transcripts that will show that I was NOT in Iowa at the time in question. Nope, they need all transcripts of all schools that appear under my social security number.
Fortunately, I have enough in scholarships to pay for my tuition. It is nice to have the student loan or work study to pay for books, supplies, and other misc student expenses.
Actually, financial aid is just part of the nightmare of this picture. Besides student loans there were credit cards, gas cards, even book/music-of-the-month clubs under my social. And, it all came to a head this year. I finally threw my hands up in the air and got a lawyer involved. What a mess.
I still don't have financial aid for the upcoming year. I am still not sure if I know of all the stuff that is out there (though I pull my credit report a few times since it has come to a head). I still am not sure if my lawyer's solution is the best solution; but, it beats losing the house. And, most importantly, I still never went to the University of Iowa.

posted by suzyjax on 8/12/2006 03:51:00 AM > 0 comments

Aren't Fridays supposed to be good?

Friday, August 04, 2006

What a crappy day! It started out bad and got worse.
I did something stupid first thing in the morning. I kicked myself over it for most of the morning.

Then, my lunch date cancelled at the last minute. Argh..men! And he just thought it was okay to reschedule for next Friday. As if my calendar is just wide open for him to flake on me again. I am supposed to go out to Union to pick up furniture for the library next Friday. A lunch date is more thrilling, but I am glad I had an excuse not to immediately reschedule. I know that sounds bitchy, but there wasn't any excuse given (e.g. appointment, last minute meeting), just a cancel after I had already left work. I wasn't really mad, just frustrated because I was looking forward to the lunch. Or, at least getting out of the workplace for an hour or so.

I really tried hard to improve my mood, but ended up making matters worse. I e-mailed an aquaintance and made a joke about something he posted on his blog. Well, that was completely taken wrong. I always say e-mail doesn't have tone when someone says they didn't like the tone of so-and-so's e-mail. However, you get an abundance of misunderstanding from this lack of tone. And that's exactly what I got there. I guess I could pepper my e-mail with smiley faces, frowny faces, and the like to add some hint of tone if I didn't think that made e-mails look a bit juvenile. I am not back at Hoech Jr. High. But, it might make things more clear.
To say the least, I only made my mood worse with that fiasco.

I have a big thing this weekend, so I really need my mood to improve. Yes, thing = man-related. I don't want to jinx it. But, I think I shall just go home and chill out tonight. Maybe there is some old movie on television that will help me escape from this day.

On an up note, the weather is nice. It's a lot cooler than it has been in weeks.

posted by suzyjax on 8/04/2006 02:21:00 PM > 0 comments

Why babies are happy

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

In the summertime, it is so hot in St. Louis. When you add in the humidty it is downright terrible. Just walking from a building to the car one is drenched in sweat. Heaven forbid you go someplace with bad AC and no air circulation. I shower 4-5 times a day just to cool down. After each shower, I pour on the powder.
The powder. It makes the body feel great for at leat an hour or so (until the next time one ventures outdoors).
Aah...the powder. I think powder is why babies are so happy.

posted by suzyjax on 8/02/2006 08:15:00 PM > 0 comments

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