The Two Me's

Monday, July 03, 2006

Sometimes I feel like there are two of me. And those two are very different people with different groups of friends. And those friends would never cross over with one another.

On one hand, I have my Overland and my work friends. These are more for the "Overland Hoosier" in me. These are my friends I can talk about more low- brow stuff: drinking, sports, television, cars, gambling (though that's not really for me), and the like. However, the only time I am asked to go out for drinks it is either birthdays or if they want a designated driver. This is a group of friends with mini-vans, children, and the whole bag of suburbia.

Then I have my---hmm, how do I put this without sounding like a total snob--more literate friends. These are my friends where I can discuss politics, the environment, documentaries (my favorite type of movie), books, etc. These are the friends that will go to a protest rally with me, but would never go to a Rams game with me. Some are married, but none with children. They are all very urban.

I guess both groups fulfill a certain need. Yet, I could never ask my friends from one group to socialize with my friends from another. It's like I would be the only common denominator. And, it makes me feel like I am on the outer periphery of both groups--like I am accepted, but don't really belong. Or maybe belong isn’t the right word, but don't fit in.

Why am I writing about this? It hit me the other day at the pool, when one friend from group A rolled her eyes that I was reading a non-fiction book while lounging by the water. I mean really, I am Ms. Non-Fiction. Come to my house and it's mostly non-fiction books on the bookshelf and documentary movies in the entertainment center.

And maybe that’s why I can’t find that one great guy. If he is more down-to-earth, then he will make a statement about bringing the biggest book he could find to a desert island so he would have something with which to wipe his ass (true story, and so not something you tell a librarian). Or, I have someone that can hold down an intellectually stimulating conversation but would never go to a Rams/Cardinals or other sporting event with me (also true, and why would you just leave me to myself—and the trouble I can get into--for the ENTIRE football season?).

And this isn’t about just finding some romantic attachment. It is truly about friends and how I don’t fit in there most of the time. They are both symptomatic of this “two me” syndrome.
posted by suzyjax on 7/03/2006 05:31:00 PM > 0 comments

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